Egos for juniors, professional coaches and parents.

An 18th century philosopher named Ludwig Wittegenstein once wrote, "A philosopher is a man who has to cure many intellectual diseases in himself before he can arrive at the notions of common sense." I believe that this has some value when we apply it to tennis players, coaches and parents. This article will attempt to discuss the area of "personal ego."

Player's Ego:

A young child is a "clean slate," just waiting for the chance to absorb new information. With continued experiences, they begin to formulate value systems and beliefs. Those around them directly affect how they will perceive the world. The people, coaches, environments, and events will continue to shape a child until they evolve as young teenagers and then adults. Ego is something that needs to be nurtured properly. Too much praise can make a child arrogant and cocky; too little praise can result in lack of confidence. How confident should a young player be? Is there such thing as being too confident? Is there a proper balance, and how can we find it? Are there concrete answers to these questions? These are just a few questions that we need to find the answers to so our kids will develop properly.

I had the pleasure of listening to Dr. Allen Fox, a highly respected psychologist in our sport, about what makes a champion. Allen stated that he feels it is, to a certain degree, genetic. Players have an innate survival quality that differentiates them from others. He went on to state that champions like McEnroe, Connors and others are aggressive, antagonistic and almost confrontatious in nature. Now friends and readers around the world, please don't start conditioning your players, sons and daughters to learn these types of behaviors and qualities. If these qualities are somewhere deep inside them, they will eventually surface in the future.

I believe that putting players in competitive situations at a young age will foster love for competition as long as positive and constructive feedback is given to the player. My friend Stan Smith (Associate Director of Player development for the U.S.T.A.) told me once that he truly believed that competitive situations, games and drills are vital for a player in order to fuel that competitive desire. If your player continues to receive negative feedback, they will eventually build walls in self defense and learn to dislike certain competitive situations. We, as coaches and parents, need to help encourage the love for the sport and competing. Dr. Allen Fox put it very nicely when he said, "Tennis parallels life. Each day we compete. Society is full of competitive situations." Enough said...

As a player continues to grow and is able to accomplish more tasks, they start to form opinions about their ability. As players develop, they use self performance indicators to help evaluate how they are progressing. From all the different information continually affecting a child, he or she begins to form self beliefs about their worth as a player and, in some cases, as a person. The following are some criteria that players will use in order to arrive at an educated conclusion about their ability:

• Achieving goals that they set with their coach or parent

• Setting technical goals

• Setting performance goals

• Referencing others - comparing how they are doing to their friends in tennis

• Feedback from the important people in their tennis life during practice or matches.

Sampras and Agassi are two of the top players in the game yet both are totally different in personality. What type of personality is better for our child? Which one would you choose? Well, if you think that you can actually make this kind of a decision for your child then stop right there! It is a bad idea to attempt to superimpose a personality onto developing players. Topics such as technique, tactics and physical characteristics can be role modelled with great success. The mental side, however, is a bit more tricky in that it is more difficult to observe and monitor. We can actually learn mental toughness actions called "rituals" that will help put us in a concentrated state for peak performance. The important point is that the personality is not changed but the state at which we perform is and can be manipulated.

Coach's Ego:

My article last month on racquets, strings and string tension somewhat parallels the development of a child, in that several coaches may be needed (like racquets) along the developmental process. People like Vic Braden feel that there should only be one coach for a player in the chain of development while others feel that there should be many to give input and perspective along the road. Personally, I believe that it is dependent on the child's rapport with a coach and the qualifications of the coach. A veteran coach can develop a child all the way to the top of their game if they are fully experienced in the developmental process. With today's tennis organizations offering so many educational courses, they are allowing tennis coaches to be able to become very competent in other areas of development. On the other hand, I have personally known coaches who are completely selfish and would hold back even a top international player from improvement by continuing to "coach" them only to benefit their personal coaching status in their own tennis community. Coaches who "talk the talk" but do not know when to let go only harm a player's chances of ever achieving their personal goals.

When I was 22 years old and received (at that time) our country's highest certification level, I thought that I knew it all. I remember attending the U.S.T.A. Tennis Teachers Conference in New York and coming home saying that I knew it all and that it was a waste to time. I look back and understand how foolish I was. Today, regardless of personal achievement, I know that I will always have room for self-improvement! If you ever see me at a tennis event or conference, feel free to come up to me and have a chat, I'd be glad to share information.

Young coaches who have had the opportunity (as I have in the past) to be surrounded each day (for years) by the best that their country can speed up learning and personal development. Generally speaking, younger coaches with less hours on court will tend to make more mistakes over a longer period than the coach who can amass many hours in a short amount of time. The bottom line is that coaches and parents will make developmental mistakes in the psychological, physical, technical and tactical areas of development. No matter how much a coach wants to help a young child develop, they are bound to make mistakes. Sport sciences have closed the door between older veteran coaches and, in some cases, allowed younger, passionate coaches to overtake the complacent, older tennis professional in knowledge.

Here are some tips for current and potential tennis coaches:

• Coach for the right reasons. Money is an added bonus and should not be the number one reason. If you speak to the best coaches in the business, you'll see that the love and competitive nature of the game fuel their engine.

• The tennis community is small in each country, so try to help each other. Bad relations may come back to haunt you!

• To grow the game as the U.S.T.A. has pledged, try to go beyond your paid hours of work. Volunteer some time for kids' events such as Smash Tennis days, etc.

• If you truly want to improve, try to observe some of the top coaches in your country on and off the court whenever possible. Listen, watch and learn. Often the most subtle of feedback given is the most important.

• Attend lectures, conferences, and symposiums and become certified as a tennis professional.

Parent's Ego:

First time tennis parents learn from their mistakes and successes when bringing up their kids in the sport, just as young, passionate coaches do. Believe me, a parent cannot push development to happen faster than the child wants it to happen. If this is the case, somewhere along the line of development the chain will break. If you have aspirations of making your son or daughter to be the next #1 tennis player in the world, you could be in for a big surprise. The child must want to play tennis and he or she must want to be on the court. If this desire to play is not present and the parent pressures the child, it will only result in harm.

What can we do to make the environment as enjoyable as possible? Make sure that the coaches who come into contact with the kids are very compatible. Young children are very impressionable and, as my new friend Dr. Jim Loehr says, it is important to be able to have good "recall buttons" so that, when the chips are down, they will remember the positive times and be able to continue to perform and enjoy the sport. Kids will learn and remember how parents and coaches reacted to wins and losses. Try to be as positive as possible when giving feedback on performances and, if necessary, delay it a few hours to gain more perspective on the past event.

How do we prevent wasted time? No matter what, at some point in a player's development there will be wasted time. We can minimize wasted time by having the right support network for our children. That means ensuring that the coaches selected are the best suited for our children's needs. As we gather more experiences over time, we learn from these successes and errors until we become wiser in decision making.

If you are a first time tennis parent, don't fret. Here are some tips for your long road ahead:

• Talk to other tennis parents and ask them questions about absolutely anything tennis-related.

• Observe the parents of many of the successful players in older categories. It is likely that these parents have mastered the routine of tennis parenting over the years.

• If you have more than one child playing tennis, try to find other parents who are in the same boat as you. Try to share tennis parenting information. It helps!

• Try not to live and die with every shot that your son or daughter hits during matches or in practice. Enjoy simply watching them compete and practice for the love of the sport.

There is professionalism, professionalism with a smile, and then there is the professionalism that encompasses the U.S.P.T.R. I recently had the opportunity to be a speaker at the U.S.P.T.R. International Tennis Symposium on beautiful Hilton Head Island, South Carolina. I am very happy to say that the presentation was a big success and, in fact, my book sold out in the U.S.P.T.R.'s tennis pro shop! I have attended many conferences around the world and must say that this week was among some of the best experiences that I have ever had.

Dennis Van der Meer's staff are some of the most personable and likeable people that the tennis industry has today. Dennis himself always takes the time to talk and greet you with a smile and comment. No matter what level coach or tennis enthusiast, all are treated with kindness and respect. The C.E.O. of the U.S.P.T.R. is Dan Santorum, a wonderful person willing to spend time answering anyone's questions. The V.P. of Operations is Julie Jilly. She is simply incredible in her organizational skills and thoughtfulness and she is always smiling. Jeff Dalpiaz (Tennis Pro Editor), and the assistant staff including Meg, Alex, Kaline, Carsten, Pam, are all great people.

The tennis symposium was conducted on Hilton Head, South Carolina on Shipyard Plantation, the home of the U.S.P.T.R. headquarters. I cannot say enough about the facility and the environment. As you enter the grounds, there is wildlife all around: cranes, herons, and even a few alligators live there. Don't worry...little chance of getting eaten alive by an ole croc. The symposium offered a wide variety of experts lecturing on material ranging from Doctor Jim Loehr's "training like a martial artist," to my new friend Dr. Howard Brody's "Physics and Unforced Errors." There was a tennis related topic that could satisfy any coach or tennis enthusiast. The entire spectrum seemed to be covered during the week. Congratulations to the U.S.P.T.R. for an exceptional job and for making a world of difference for all those who attended! Special mention to a new friend of mine, Pierre Craig of Greenhill School for receiving the Coach Jim Verdieck Award for his outstanding performance as a U.S.P.T.R. professional.

Finally, I am pleased to report that my presentation was a big success and I have been invited back to the next 1998 U.S.P.T.R. tennis symposium as a speaker! Tennis Canada has also invited me, for the fourth time, to be a presenter for both conferences in Toronto and British Columbia in 1998.

Last month's article on tennis equipment has continued to generate all kinds of e-mail from around the world including South Africa, Malaysia, New York etc. If there is a tennis topic that you would like to read about, drop me an e-mail and don't forget to tell me what country and city you live in. Finally, I am writing a future article on favorite tennis drills and would like to hear some of your favorite drills, singles and doubles. Looking forward to hearing from you and thanks once again for all your e-mail and faxes from around the world!

Best Regards,

Reggie

This column is copyright 1997 by Reggie Vasquez Jr., all rights reserved.

Reggie Vasquez Jr. is one of Canada's leading tennis coaches for juniors. He is actively involved with Tennis Canada's grassroots player development. A frequent and enthusiastic speaker at tennis conferences, he is certified by the U.S.P.T.A., Tennis Canada and the U.S.P.T.R.. For almost 7 years he was a head coach for the Canadian Davis cup Captain's Academy at the Canada's National Tennis Center. He has been a Tennis Canada - National Youth Tennis Center Leader for over 8 years and is presently a head coach of an Elite Tennis Academy. He has experience working with juniors from the absolute beginner to the international caliber tennis player. Reggie is also a published author on junior tennis. His personal web site has additional information on his book, the Kids' Book of Tennis. The Kids' Book of Tennis can be ordered directly at a discount using this link to the Amazon.com online bookstore.

Questions and comments about these columns can be directed to Reggie by electronic mail at reggie@tennisserver.com.